What Can Be Done For An Alcoholic Spouse?

Tina wrote in about her husband who is an alcoholic who has graduated from beer to hard liquor and who persists in berating her and humiliating her. They have been married for 5 years and they have a 22 month old daughter and she does not want her growing up in that environment. She wants to know if her instinct to leave is premature.

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How can i save my 27 year old marriage,when your spouse is a alcoholic.

Look online to see if there are any AlAnon meetings in your area. AlAnon is a support group for friends and family of alcoholics. There are even divisions for teens. Hope this helps.

Its not easy but your not alone he needs help as well as you have you triwd Al ANON ? it can help it did me he needs help also if he dosnt it will probable break you apart i hope all ends well GOD bless

I have been married to an alcoholic for 18 years. His disease has become progressively worse. I have stayed in the marriage because of the children. I am lonely and depressed and feel too young to spend the rest of my life living like this! I put my children’s happines over my own. I ‘m beginning to believe maybe that’s not the best for all three of us. I’ve gone to counseling with him, he refuses to continue. He comes home drunk most nights. I need advice! I’m feeling hopeless as the years go by. I want to be happy for my children I want to live in a happy marriage. I no longer want to be married to this man.

Hi. I don’t have any advice for you on staying married or not as only you can make that decision. I just wanted to reach out and tell you that you are not alone and you should continue to go to some sort of support group, even if he won’t go. I feel terrible that you’ve had to deal with this for 18 years, but commend you for trying to help him for the sake of your kids. My mom is in a similar situation, but she threatened to leave after he hit rock bottom and he eventually got himself cleaned up. I’m still nervous he may relapse, but I’m proud of him for trying. Not sure if you’ve already told him you would leave, but you should let him know you are serious about it. I would also find a place for you and your kids to stay for a few weeks and let him see what his life is like without you. It may push him into at least going back to counseling. Good Luck. My thoughts are with you.

I am just a casual drinker. However, every time I go home late, even if I’ve only drunk a small amount of tequila, my dad would already recite what seem to be an endless litany of sermons. As I am browsing the net today, I just want to ponder on the things my dad always says. His words motivate me to post this question.

Perhaps, your dad is just worried about you and the family you’ll have in the future. Studies have shown that alcohol has a significant effect not only to the relationship of husband and wife, but to the relationship of parents and children as well. Alcoholism has recorded to be one of the major causes of marital problems which commonly lead to divorce or legal separation. Also, alcoholism has been pointed as a root cause of verbal and non-verbal abuse in the household. I would also like to say something about the amount of alcohol you occasionally drink. Alcoholism commonly begins with social drinking that gradually develops into dependency. I think, that is what making your dad worried so much.

Get the hell out of there. You can find other places to go to get the help you will need. Put a restraining order on him to protect you and your child, file a report with the police so that if you divorce it will be in the records so he won’t get custody of your daughter. Don’t make her suffer too, she deserves better than being scared her daddy is going to hurt her or her mommy. Your daughter will be better off in a single parent family.

has anyone ever had an alcoholic family member or spouse,,if so what did you do or how did you deal..?

My father was an alcoholic for most of his life. And some say that "once an alcoholic always an alcoholic". It caused tremendous hardships on our family. AA and Alonon, have always exsisted I guess but he would never commit to any type of program.

While some may say that alcoholism is a FAMILY disease and you should try to stand by them. Well if they are attempting some type of program then you should help them in their recovery.

You cant make someone stop drinking, it has to be a personal decision. And that is the bad news here. Something has to happen in order for an alcoholic to want treament. Rather it's a personal awakening or a rude awakening……

My Mother got enough of the fighting and abuse and locked the doors one day while my dad was away. She threw all his clothes in the front yard. When he got home he sat in the front yard and blew his car horn for hours. Mom finally went to the door and told him that he was never coming home again as a drunkard. That if he persisted to blow the horn she would call the police.

She didn't have to call the police.

He came home 2 weeks latter, he never drank again for the next 20 years. My Dad was 59 when he stopped drinking without intervention from a program. That is maybe difficult for some to do. But apparently it can be done. But most will probally need a program. It was not done by faith or relegion, neither of my parents were relegious. But for those that are of some faith God can help.

Dad remanined sober for the rest of his life…….age 79.

Am tired of living with an alcoholic after 33 years of bondage. I felt total wreckage of my life especially when our children have left the house one by one. I want to escape but I don’t want to leave my work with the government.

why would you have to leave your work because you divorce your husband. Sounds like a poor excuse to stay.

I am currently going through an adoption homestudy and my mother is an alcoholic. I don't have much contact with her and when I do see her she is always sober. My children would never be around her without another adult ect. I have dealt with her alcoholism as my sister is an addiction conselor and my father is a M.D. Just wondering the social worker will see this as an issue?

I dont think so but be upfront with the counselor and make sure you state what you did here. Not every family is as perfect as the Beavers.. they expect that and know that there may be some family history. If you notice that it concerns the counselor, ask them about it. Ask them what you can do if anything to show that you have not inherited your mothers disease. Good Luck!