Am tired of living with an alcoholic after 33 years of bondage. I felt total wreckage of my life especially when our children have left the house one by one. I want to escape but I don’t want to leave my work with the government.
why would you have to leave your work because you divorce your husband. Sounds like a poor excuse to stay.
has anyone ever had an alcoholic family member or spouse,,if so what did you do or how did you deal..?
My father was an alcoholic for most of his life. And some say that "once an alcoholic always an alcoholic". It caused tremendous hardships on our family. AA and Alonon, have always exsisted I guess but he would never commit to any type of program.
While some may say that alcoholism is a FAMILY disease and you should try to stand by them. Well if they are attempting some type of program then you should help them in their recovery.
You cant make someone stop drinking, it has to be a personal decision. And that is the bad news here. Something has to happen in order for an alcoholic to want treament. Rather it's a personal awakening or a rude awakening……
My Mother got enough of the fighting and abuse and locked the doors one day while my dad was away. She threw all his clothes in the front yard. When he got home he sat in the front yard and blew his car horn for hours. Mom finally went to the door and told him that he was never coming home again as a drunkard. That if he persisted to blow the horn she would call the police.
She didn't have to call the police.
He came home 2 weeks latter, he never drank again for the next 20 years. My Dad was 59 when he stopped drinking without intervention from a program. That is maybe difficult for some to do. But apparently it can be done. But most will probally need a program. It was not done by faith or relegion, neither of my parents were relegious. But for those that are of some faith God can help.
Dad remanined sober for the rest of his life…….age 79.
I am currently going through an adoption homestudy and my mother is an alcoholic. I don't have much contact with her and when I do see her she is always sober. My children would never be around her without another adult ect. I have dealt with her alcoholism as my sister is an addiction conselor and my father is a M.D. Just wondering the social worker will see this as an issue?
I dont think so but be upfront with the counselor and make sure you state what you did here. Not every family is as perfect as the Beavers.. they expect that and know that there may be some family history. If you notice that it concerns the counselor, ask them about it. Ask them what you can do if anything to show that you have not inherited your mothers disease. Good Luck!
He thinks he will be condemed by God if he leaves her. Their children are grown. Does God condem people for divorce when they have no proof of adultery?
I don't believe so if wife is alcoholic. My hus is an alcoholic and I left him we have a 7 year old and I think I made the best decision of my life I put up with it 4 almost 8 years. The relationship I'm in now makes me wonder why I did it for so long. He needs to get out of the marriage as soon as possible gl
This year I found the one person who I thought could make me happy, a few months later I found out I was pregnant and we went and got married. Ever since I met him he had always been a drinker but after getting married his drinking got worse and worse. He got to where he wouldn't come home at night, especially on pay days and would spend his checks by the next day. I would come home from work and he would be totally plastured. Everyone kept telling me he was an alcoholic, but not only him but I too was in denial. Finally one night of not coming home I had him chose, you either get help or we get divorced. He said he wanted to get th help because he realized he had the problem and no longer wanted to put his family in jeopardy. Well we finally did the AA meetings and I got to where I started keeping all the money. He found a job with the insurance our family needed. Well last week his alcohlism caused him to loose his job and got arrested for drugs too. I am just pregnant and scared….
I feel your pain truly, I survived your situation.
The pain your going thru now will be so much worse after your baby is here. Spare your child the lifestyle your husband has chosen.
Your not alone, their are many women having to raise a child alone. Have yourself a good cry and find that strength we women and moms have. Its there, pull it out for you and the baby.
Trust me, you will get thru it. When you see your child, that will be when your life starts again. A happy mom and a happy child, think about twice the love you can give your baby.
No doubt its scary but not as scary as the life you have now.
e-mail me if you need to talk.
Spouse is in alcohoic treatment for 4 weeks and seems oblivious to how this experience is affecting me and our relationship. Seems very narcissitic (sp?_ and rigid in thinking. I know/attend Al Anon and family education meetings but this issue is not addressed and we are not given any information at all how family member is doing in treatment. Are spouses always left in the dark with no information on how patient is doing or what we are to expect if anything once they are through with treatment, besides to support their new found sobriety?
At some point, yes. they do.
Your husband will be enouraged to attend AA meetings, and considering the impact that their illness has had on others and apologizing to everyone that they've hurt is one of the steps in teh program. In the meantime, he is hopefully working very hard on getting well himself.
Is there a facilitator at your Al Anon meetings? If so, either before or after a meeting, ask your questions of that person.
My husband is an alcoholic and verbally abusive ( when he's drunk) Does anyone know of any movies that we could watch together that might hint to him that he has a problem?
P.S We already watched FireProof…….great movie.
Why are you still sitting there hoping in silence he will get your message? WAKE UP honey he WON'T because he's an alcoholic. Your best chance is to confront him, and if that doesn't really change anything I wouldn't wait too long before buying my bus ticket for the hills.
She is legally married and is afraid for her husband taking the kids away from her, hiding them and never seeing them again, he has made this threat already.Can the aunt of the kids take them until she gets out,without the fathers consent? What does the aunt need to make this happen?The mother is seeking help in rehab.
If the aunt can prove there is a legitimate threat, she may be able to legally get custody. She should keep a record of the threats the children's father is making. If it's over the phone, record if possible. And report it to the police so they at least have a record on file of what's going on.
could you give alcoholic spouse an ultimatum? even if the only one they are hurting is themself
An alcoholic is someone who needs alcohol they can be functional . go to work everyday and seem like they live a normal life. But drink until they get drunk and usually pass out.They have mood swings and say and do hurtful thing and say they don't remember. Will find any occasion to drink, even if they have to drink alone. When you comment on they're drinking they get defensive. And don't be fooled an alcoholic doesn't always drink everyday. If you think they have a problem confront then and give them that ultimatum,they're drinking not only hurts therm but your family also
No. It is the choice of the non-alcoholic spouse to stay. If you married them knowing they were an alcoholic and thinking they would change or get better because of the marriage is partially the fault of the spouse who doesn't drink.
If you are married to an alcoholic file for separation and threaten divorce unless they seek counseling and treatment and then you will work on things when they present you with a certificate of completion for rehab. An ultimatum or an intervention is your only option here.
It is your choice whether to leave or stay…you have the power to make a change – a positive change in your life.