Ask Victoria: Viewer Topic: My Alcoholic Husband and I
living with an alcoholic wife July 4th, 2009
Tina wrote in about her husband who is an alcoholic who has graduated from beer to hard liquor and who persists in berating her and humiliating her. They have been married for 5 years and they have a 22 month old daughter and she does not want her growing up in that environment. She wants to know if her instinct to leave is premature.
Duration : 0:5:32
July 4th, 2009 at 12:46 am
perhaps this woman …
perhaps this woman needs to separate,for a while, but divorce? I dont’ think that’s necessary. People in our culture are too quick to divorce. It’s Better or WORSE , Sick or Healthy, Rich or Poor – i.e. that’s no way but death out of a marriage….. That’s the covenant you agree to when you get married.
July 4th, 2009 at 12:46 am
karrawa makes some …
karrawa makes some good points.Both spouses likely come from disturbed families and we don’t know anything about this relationship so we have no right to ess & over-react to her situation. Playing big with people’s lives is dangerous business, getting all the facts is only fair before doling out advice to desperate people. And there is never only one solution to domestic problems.AlAnon is only a small part.Get into ACOA. Seminars, Art therapy. Service work, bring your kid along.
July 4th, 2009 at 12:46 am
Living beyond …
Living beyond addiction: Leaving or staying you need a solid/sane game plan that will not get you into the same situation that is hurting you & your child now: Look deeply into ALL of the reasons that you entered, or attracted & accepted this kind relationship in the first place? Make a list of ALL of the needs you felt he would meet. These are your vulnerabilities. WHEREVER you wake up in the morning these will be your downfall so start filling these needs YOURSELF NOW with recovery books etc
July 4th, 2009 at 12:46 am
1.The alcoholic …
1.The alcoholic husband is probably from the same type “child of broken family” you empathise with.
2.Men should realise thei capacity and not take on marital responsibility they cannot. Forget the chivalry. This guy should be empathised with as a guy who grew up in a disturbed family. He needs more than AA.. He needs love.
3.Good that the woman should leave.. I empathise with her situation.
4.Women should take responsiblity for their own lives and not depend on men to make them feel better.
July 4th, 2009 at 12:46 am
Tell her to get out …
Tell her to get out,I am still with my husband .
He has made my life and my sons lives a absolute misery.
July 4th, 2009 at 12:46 am
That is the best …
That is the best response I have ever heard anybody say to a person in that situation. You also gave pointers that most people would not consider when in that situation such as your child will also not do well in life. Many don’t realize what harm can happen until it is to late or may never realize that. I should know because I am an adult of an alcoholic mother with a lot of emotional problems. God Bless to Tina.
July 4th, 2009 at 12:46 am
Thanks, Im going to …
Thanks, Im going to check out alanon.