my spouse is an alcoholic ,whoms abusive we have a 5 year old daughter what should i do?
living with an alcoholic wife July 2nd, 2009
Get the hell out of there. You can find other places to go to get the help you will need. Put a restraining order on him to protect you and your child, file a report with the police so that if you divorce it will be in the records so he won’t get custody of your daughter. Don’t make her suffer too, she deserves better than being scared her daddy is going to hurt her or her mommy. Your daughter will be better off in a single parent family.
July 2nd, 2009 at 11:09 am
Ask the Big Question: "Am I better off with him or without him?"
You answer dictates your course of action
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July 2nd, 2009 at 11:52 am
YOu know what needs to be done!
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July 2nd, 2009 at 12:29 pm
Get the hell out of there. You can find other places to go to get the help you will need. Put a restraining order on him to protect you and your child, file a report with the police so that if you divorce it will be in the records so he won’t get custody of your daughter. Don’t make her suffer too, she deserves better than being scared her daddy is going to hurt her or her mommy. Your daughter will be better off in a single parent family.
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social work major
July 2nd, 2009 at 12:38 pm
call the law on her next time she gets abusive. it would be for her own good, they would probably make her go to AA and anger management.
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July 2nd, 2009 at 1:16 pm
Advice him when his condition is ok.
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July 2nd, 2009 at 1:53 pm
If he is abusive then you need to leave him. It not good for your daughter to be seeing him be abusive to you, she’ll think this is acceptable behavior. By staying with him your just enabling him to drink more and not be responsible.
First step, came to believe that I am powerless over alcoholic and my life has become unmanageable.
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July 2nd, 2009 at 2:08 pm
Get out, you have to realize what kind of an example that sets for your daughter. I’ve been there. And I know its hard. But in the long run she will be better off not to be exposed to that all the time. And I know you will be better off to get away from him, I mean who wants the hell beat out of them everyday for nothing. You or your daughter don’t deserve to have to live like that and neither does anybody else.
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July 2nd, 2009 at 2:26 pm
First off I would say pray about it and ask God for a sign. Second I would say that you need to get your daughter away from that situation as soon as possible because if you don’t then she might think that it is ok for a man to be abusive to her and no one would want that for you child. I hope that you make the right decision and I pray that everything will be ok for you and you daughter. If you ever need someone to talk to feel free to e-mail me.
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July 2nd, 2009 at 2:44 pm
Why does everyone assume the abusive
spouse is a MALE ? Women can be just
as abusive as Men when they are Drunk.
Whether Male or Female,Seek Help Now.
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rebo as
July 2nd, 2009 at 3:00 pm
Take your daughter out of this terrible enviroment. Get a lawyer and divorce her. Think of your child since your the only adult she can count on to protect her .
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July 2nd, 2009 at 3:40 pm
Hello Butterbean !
I’m sorry your husband is abusive .
Well, here’s the thing; what do you want for your daughter ? Do you want your daughter to see you being abused ?
Do you want your husband to eventually turn his rage onto his daughter ?
Do you really think your child doesn’t already know ?
What if he beats you to a bloody pulp, and/or kills you; who will raise your daughter after you’re dead?
If you stay; what kind of example are you setting for your her ?
When your daughter grows up; would it make you happy if she married a man like her abusive, alcoholic father ?
How will you feel; knowing the bruises she tries to hide, are from her husband ?
Our children learn from the examples we give them. It doesn’t matter what we say; it’s what we do.
If you don’t leave; she may ( probably ) eventually end up hating you, and/or runaway; possibly into the arms of someone who is abusive, or even more so.
Can you think of five good reasons to stay?
Can you think of five good reasons to leave ?
By staying in this abusive marriage, you are teaching your child that his behavior is normal, and therefore acceptable.
Here’s what to do; you need a plan, plain, and simple.
Are you working? Try to save money, If you’re not working, get some. Every little bit helps.
Call the police every time he turns into an abusive drunkard ; this this will be documented, and it proves that he’s an abusive alcoholic; you need this so the court won’t award him custody of your daughter.
BUT. Has he tried Alcoholics Anonymous ?
Speak to him when it’s safe.
He has to admit that he has a drinking problem, and that he’s physically abusive, and he’s destroying his family.
But in the meantime, you, and your daughter are not safe.
So leave, or file an Order of Protection, and make him leave.
Do your absolute best to better your living situation for you and your precious child, then pray on it.
I’m very sorry to hear of your troubles; You are in a very difficult situation. I know it’s not easy..
Please email me; I will ask my friends for advice, ok ?
Love, light, and peace
tishy
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July 2nd, 2009 at 3:52 pm
please leave before your daughter has even more bad memories than she is already going to have…
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July 2nd, 2009 at 4:26 pm
First of all, LIFE IS TO SHORT to put up with someone Else’s behavior. I know, I been there, even with a child. Your best bet is go to your nearest shelter for women and children abusive, that was the best thing that I have ever done, and one of the smartest choice that I have made. Your child will be better off without him being around, you are doing more harm to the child by staying there. GET OUT NOW!, while your child has a mother.
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July 2nd, 2009 at 4:55 pm
Any family, friends? who will help you leave?,,, You can’t want your daughter to think that is the way you are supposed to live. Seek help, intervention, being apart doesn’t have to be forever. Even with love one sometimes has to leave in order the make life better for all.
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July 2nd, 2009 at 5:07 pm
You should take your daughter and LEAVE! Do not put up with an abusive spouse. It will only continue to get worse and your daughter does NOT need to be around that. It will affect her for many years to come if you do not get her out of that environment. Bless you and good luck. Please, get your daughter and yourself somewhere safe.
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July 2nd, 2009 at 5:42 pm
leave him its not good for the child to see this stuff
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