If you have questions about responsible drinking in your family or concerned about excessive use of alcohol, please visit the following website: http://www.habitdoc.com/.
My wife was always going to be her lazy mother’s carer – until she met me. I took her away from a household that had her living as a servant to an alcoholic father and childlike mother. For years afterwards her brother always tried to manipulate things so that her mother would come live with us. Finally he went too far and his sly passive aggressive anger towards me showed when he refused to let me feed his son, saying I was too rough a father with my own son. He is the worst father ever and let his wife abuse their son for the first 6 months of his life. Finally my wife saw him for what he is and what he wanted to bring to her life. All was good, or so I thought.
My wife is taking a trip to see her mother soon and I will not be going. I am sure that her manipulative family will see this as a fine opportunity to screw around with our lives again and I find it so frustrating. My wife and I have talked and fought about this all evening. She says I treat her as a child and tell her what to do, but the truth is if I didn’t do that then we’d have her mother living with us and all the independence my wife has gained since we met would be gone.
When we met my wife was agoraphobic and suffered from many mental issues, depression included. We’ve worked on this together over the years. Its so frustrating to me that her family are the root cause of her problems (as confirmed by many counsellors) but she still fights up for them.
I do not mind her having a relationship with her brother. I wish she would not. But I do not want my son anywhere near that manipulative money driven prick because I know he thinks of me in a derogatory and disrespectful way. I also know that my wife will soon be manipulated and manouvered into something against what we have agreed – as always happens when she sees her family alone.
Yes this is a big vent, but what do I do about this asshole? I don’t want him calling the house but he does. My wife doesn’t seem to think its an issue, even though it is for me.
Good answer Jena. Its even worse when you are living it.
sorry to say but when you married your wife you also married her crazy family. Seeing as you can’t nor shouldn’t keep her from her family. If you can’t deal with her family then you shouldn’t have married her esp knowing what they are like. B/c you have married her and you do know what her family is like you have a few choices
1 go with her when she vists her family (to make sure they don’t manipulate her)
2 give her a choice you or her family
3 you make a choice to stay or to leave
remember its not her fault she didn’t choose her family and im sure if she could she wouldn’t have picked them.
hope everything works out for the best
Wife lives w/Alcoholic. If she leaves for 5 days,
can she still claim the home as hers?That she has a right to live there?
Yes, she can.
I met my husband through the internet (I know). My first husband said that he was leaving me on our 21st anniversary and I was 16 when he and I got married. I was scared to death to be on my own as I had never been. I told this husband that I’m Mormon, and don’t want to marry a man that drinks or smokes. My husband works the 3-11pm shift and I was waiting up for him because he had told me " that he almost face planted himself into his machine," and that he could fall asleep at the drop of a hat. He is usually home by 12am. It got to be 2am and I called his cell phone and it went straight to voice mail… I told him that he’d best be driving into the driveway in 15 minutes. Then it got to be after 3am so I called again and left another message. Finally, I just couldn’t stay awake any longer and fell asleep at 4:30am. I woke up to find he still wasn’t home and on the answering machine was three messages. The last one said that he was in jail and was arrested for DUI!!!
I’ve had people tell me that a leopard will not change it’s spots. And I called Aly-non and a woman there told me that I have a tough road ahead of me. I’m going to be babysitting the rest of my life. He’s pushed me away from him emotionally and affectionately for over 3 years. Oh, I forgot to mention that this man takes 120.00 a week out of his check before putting any money into the bank. Also, I’ve found out that he was going to the store regularly and taking more money out on the debit card. I can’t tell you how many times that they’ve threatened to shut off our lights.
I inherited my home from my parents and sold that one to move into this home and start my new life. We dated for a little over a year and as with my first husband of 21 years, I thought that I knew this man. I have worked to fix up this one all by myself. I’ve painted the house and garage and fixed up the inside. I’ve worked very hard to make this a loving home. I’ve told him that he is going to have to put all the money into a checking account with just my name on it, until he earns my trust (if I can ever trust him again). I had wanted to meet a nice Mormon man and thought that I did. The church did check on it for me, and he was Mormon just not practicing. I’m so confused, it’s like my brain just can’t hold my thoughts together. Any suggestions?? Is there anyone else there that has or is now, living with an alcoholic? My parents never drank and I don’t understand why a man would want to do this to a faithful wife that has a beautiful home. Every time I think that I can’t cry anymore, I do. He goes in front of the judge on Tuesday and I’m not even sure I want him to come home, let alone go on with our marriage. He also likes to take drugs. He’s on percaset (not sure of spelling) darvocet and he found a doctor a couple of months ago that put him on Methodone. He has also taken medications out of my pocketbook. Do I give this marriage another chance? Do you think his being arrested has gave him a wake up call? Do you think that AA and Aly-non will be able to help? Do I call it quits and lose everything that I’ve worked very hard for? I found…. I do have more tears.
i’ll make this short. he will never change unless he gets help. if there is anywhere else you can live then you need to remove yourself from this environment immediately. tell him (if you want the marriage to continue) that you can reconcile only after he straightens out his addictions. I’m not 100% sure but i’ve always heard methadone was prescribed to treat a heroin addiction. definitely start going to alanon. there you will find many others who have lived through what you are going through and can give you excellent advise. do this as soon as possible. I know what you are going through and even though my marriage(20yrs) failed i finally found peace and am living a normal healthy life again. good luck.
Well, supposely this has been going on for years. My wife is currently living in her mother’s house, in south america. 2 of her sisters and her brother also live there with their husbands. Anyway one of them is an alcoholic and has anger issues when he gets drunk and goes crazy. My wife is a former stripper and her sister is a current stripper.
So when this guy gets drunk he calls them names like hoe, hookers ect…. HE tries to start fights with anyone who talks back to him and even makes my wife’s sister cry sometimes. He even punched one of their sisters once while drunk. I know what you might be thinking, why dont they kick them out. Well, their mother is on the moon. THey all want him out, but their mother feels sorry for him because he has nobody, but picking on their daughters is fine….. Oh yeah, and his wife also wants him there. I guess she’s used to the abuse. Everytime he crosses the line, they call the cops, but since the cops are bunch of lazy punks, and their country doesnt really do anything unless someone gets killed, they dont follow through with it. My wife told me she thinks he raped her while she was passed out because she sleept in his room once and her sister went out and her vigina was wet and the only guy in there was him. And one day the daughter of my wifes sister accused him of touching her, and nobody kicked him out.
I don’t know how they can stand this guy and act liek nothing happened after all this. Never seen this, but i blame the mother of my wife. It’s her house, but she’s not strong enough to enforce rules. Anyway, should i pay people to beat the hell out of this guy? im in the states now, but if i hear this guy crossed the line again i don;t know what ill do.
I plan to move my wife and stepdaughter when i get enough money.
My wife was 15 when she thinks she got raped. shes now 26
WOW! WHY DID you get married knowing you can not take care of your wife? why is she staying with her mother instead with you? to answer your question no i dont think you should paid someone to beat up that guy, you should be trying your best to save alot untill you reach whatever amount you need to have your wife and step daughter with you
Henry and Big Tone attempt to review Chris Rock’s latest movie, but Henry’s alcohol withdrawal poses a problem.
Duration : 0:3:29
worked for a company for 10+ yrs and assistant to the president of the company. After his one year aniversary of soberity, the disarray in business applications is causing my job to become varied in job description. I’m not getting much help or answers. You can’t say anything about it, but it’s not helping #1 for the work environment when 75% of my day is calming those who don’t understand the scattered thoughts from him and the other 25% trying to resolve issues on my own, hoping I’ve made the right choices because I can’t get answers. She disapears and takes many "mental health" days and works after hours so there is no human contact and thoughts can be clearer. Should I stick with it, move on, say something or just keeping on doing what I need to do to keep the business a float on my end? How do I know this???? The wife of a recovered alcoholic (I know everyone has a different experience), but it’s like living with my husband after his first year. I LOVE my job, but need my sanity
Your responsibility isn’t to keep the company afloat. That’s the President’s responsibility. It’s surprising the company has stayed up for 10 years without any processes but some companies will succeed despite themselves.
Generally, I’ve found people tend to lack confidence when thinking about changing jobs. It’s a hard thing to do, but far from impossible. Are you paid well? Do you not think you could get equal or better compensation elsewhere?
I guess my answer is – no job is worth being miserable. There are others out there.
I need some advice. My father-in-law who is from India is living with his wife in another state. He has been a chronic alcoholic for years and is getting worse so much so that my husband and I feel that he is not making rational decisions anymore. I am not from this culture so I need to know how people of Indian culture usually handle a situation like this. My husband is not of much help because I think he doesn’t want to really believe that his father is getting to this non-rational state and so avoids doing anything about it. I am worried because he drives taxi cab and maybe he will have an accident sooner or later. He is also letting his house become very decrepit. What can we or should we do?
When he does not live with you, why worry ? if you are really worried about him, you should ask him to stay with you, stop working and take care of him.
But your words do not really reflect *LOVE* for him. it is more of your natural hate towards him as daughter in law. just see the mirror and ask your self is Awasthi right ?
Another Alternate Reality Ethan and Theresa video.
In this story ethan is an alcoholic and Theresa is suffereing from all the pain of her alcoholic husband. Ethan realizes how much he truly loves Theresa and is willing to recover from it in order to save their marriage.
Duration : 0:3:53
Osy – Alcoholic Husband