If you have questions about responsible drinking in your family or concerned about excessive use of alcohol, please visit the following website: http://www.habitdoc.com/.
I met my husband through the internet (I know). My first husband said that he was leaving me on our 21st anniversary and I was 16 when he and I got married. I was scared to death to be on my own as I had never been. I told this husband that I’m Mormon, and don’t want to marry a man that drinks or smokes. My husband works the 3-11pm shift and I was waiting up for him because he had told me " that he almost face planted himself into his machine," and that he could fall asleep at the drop of a hat. He is usually home by 12am. It got to be 2am and I called his cell phone and it went straight to voice mail… I told him that he’d best be driving into the driveway in 15 minutes. Then it got to be after 3am so I called again and left another message. Finally, I just couldn’t stay awake any longer and fell asleep at 4:30am. I woke up to find he still wasn’t home and on the answering machine was three messages. The last one said that he was in jail and was arrested for DUI!!!
I’ve had people tell me that a leopard will not change it’s spots. And I called Aly-non and a woman there told me that I have a tough road ahead of me. I’m going to be babysitting the rest of my life. He’s pushed me away from him emotionally and affectionately for over 3 years. Oh, I forgot to mention that this man takes 120.00 a week out of his check before putting any money into the bank. Also, I’ve found out that he was going to the store regularly and taking more money out on the debit card. I can’t tell you how many times that they’ve threatened to shut off our lights.
I inherited my home from my parents and sold that one to move into this home and start my new life. We dated for a little over a year and as with my first husband of 21 years, I thought that I knew this man. I have worked to fix up this one all by myself. I’ve painted the house and garage and fixed up the inside. I’ve worked very hard to make this a loving home. I’ve told him that he is going to have to put all the money into a checking account with just my name on it, until he earns my trust (if I can ever trust him again). I had wanted to meet a nice Mormon man and thought that I did. The church did check on it for me, and he was Mormon just not practicing. I’m so confused, it’s like my brain just can’t hold my thoughts together. Any suggestions?? Is there anyone else there that has or is now, living with an alcoholic? My parents never drank and I don’t understand why a man would want to do this to a faithful wife that has a beautiful home. Every time I think that I can’t cry anymore, I do. He goes in front of the judge on Tuesday and I’m not even sure I want him to come home, let alone go on with our marriage. He also likes to take drugs. He’s on percaset (not sure of spelling) darvocet and he found a doctor a couple of months ago that put him on Methodone. He has also taken medications out of my pocketbook. Do I give this marriage another chance? Do you think his being arrested has gave him a wake up call? Do you think that AA and Aly-non will be able to help? Do I call it quits and lose everything that I’ve worked very hard for? I found…. I do have more tears.
i’ll make this short. he will never change unless he gets help. if there is anywhere else you can live then you need to remove yourself from this environment immediately. tell him (if you want the marriage to continue) that you can reconcile only after he straightens out his addictions. I’m not 100% sure but i’ve always heard methadone was prescribed to treat a heroin addiction. definitely start going to alanon. there you will find many others who have lived through what you are going through and can give you excellent advise. do this as soon as possible. I know what you are going through and even though my marriage(20yrs) failed i finally found peace and am living a normal healthy life again. good luck.
Well, supposely this has been going on for years. My wife is currently living in her mother’s house, in south america. 2 of her sisters and her brother also live there with their husbands. Anyway one of them is an alcoholic and has anger issues when he gets drunk and goes crazy. My wife is a former stripper and her sister is a current stripper.
So when this guy gets drunk he calls them names like hoe, hookers ect…. HE tries to start fights with anyone who talks back to him and even makes my wife’s sister cry sometimes. He even punched one of their sisters once while drunk. I know what you might be thinking, why dont they kick them out. Well, their mother is on the moon. THey all want him out, but their mother feels sorry for him because he has nobody, but picking on their daughters is fine….. Oh yeah, and his wife also wants him there. I guess she’s used to the abuse. Everytime he crosses the line, they call the cops, but since the cops are bunch of lazy punks, and their country doesnt really do anything unless someone gets killed, they dont follow through with it. My wife told me she thinks he raped her while she was passed out because she sleept in his room once and her sister went out and her vigina was wet and the only guy in there was him. And one day the daughter of my wifes sister accused him of touching her, and nobody kicked him out.
I don’t know how they can stand this guy and act liek nothing happened after all this. Never seen this, but i blame the mother of my wife. It’s her house, but she’s not strong enough to enforce rules. Anyway, should i pay people to beat the hell out of this guy? im in the states now, but if i hear this guy crossed the line again i don;t know what ill do.
I plan to move my wife and stepdaughter when i get enough money.
My wife was 15 when she thinks she got raped. shes now 26
WOW! WHY DID you get married knowing you can not take care of your wife? why is she staying with her mother instead with you? to answer your question no i dont think you should paid someone to beat up that guy, you should be trying your best to save alot untill you reach whatever amount you need to have your wife and step daughter with you
Henry and Big Tone attempt to review Chris Rock’s latest movie, but Henry’s alcohol withdrawal poses a problem.
Duration : 0:3:29
worked for a company for 10+ yrs and assistant to the president of the company. After his one year aniversary of soberity, the disarray in business applications is causing my job to become varied in job description. I’m not getting much help or answers. You can’t say anything about it, but it’s not helping #1 for the work environment when 75% of my day is calming those who don’t understand the scattered thoughts from him and the other 25% trying to resolve issues on my own, hoping I’ve made the right choices because I can’t get answers. She disapears and takes many "mental health" days and works after hours so there is no human contact and thoughts can be clearer. Should I stick with it, move on, say something or just keeping on doing what I need to do to keep the business a float on my end? How do I know this???? The wife of a recovered alcoholic (I know everyone has a different experience), but it’s like living with my husband after his first year. I LOVE my job, but need my sanity
Your responsibility isn’t to keep the company afloat. That’s the President’s responsibility. It’s surprising the company has stayed up for 10 years without any processes but some companies will succeed despite themselves.
Generally, I’ve found people tend to lack confidence when thinking about changing jobs. It’s a hard thing to do, but far from impossible. Are you paid well? Do you not think you could get equal or better compensation elsewhere?
I guess my answer is – no job is worth being miserable. There are others out there.
I need some advice. My father-in-law who is from India is living with his wife in another state. He has been a chronic alcoholic for years and is getting worse so much so that my husband and I feel that he is not making rational decisions anymore. I am not from this culture so I need to know how people of Indian culture usually handle a situation like this. My husband is not of much help because I think he doesn’t want to really believe that his father is getting to this non-rational state and so avoids doing anything about it. I am worried because he drives taxi cab and maybe he will have an accident sooner or later. He is also letting his house become very decrepit. What can we or should we do?
When he does not live with you, why worry ? if you are really worried about him, you should ask him to stay with you, stop working and take care of him.
But your words do not really reflect *LOVE* for him. it is more of your natural hate towards him as daughter in law. just see the mirror and ask your self is Awasthi right ?
Another Alternate Reality Ethan and Theresa video.
In this story ethan is an alcoholic and Theresa is suffereing from all the pain of her alcoholic husband. Ethan realizes how much he truly loves Theresa and is willing to recover from it in order to save their marriage.
Duration : 0:3:53
I ran into a 2nd cousin who is about 26. When he was 18 or 19, he left home and wasn’t heard from for several years. I saw him only once before this weekend, about 3 years ago.
He is filthy. Homeless. Lives in a shelter sometimes. Fits all his possessions in a small duffel bag. Today I got him to come over to my house for a shower and a meal. We also washed all his clothing and got him some new socks and underwear. I gave him no cash. He wanted to sleep in my house, but my wife and I decided that was a bad idea. He’s sleeping in a resin chaise lounge in my back yard. Actually I can see he’s smoking a cigarette (I hope that is it) he had a small polyester blanket. He won’t freeze out there.
We told him he has to move on tomorrow. Have we done too much? Have we done too little? As a family, we have decided to only do the minimum we can until he makes an effort to get off drugs and booze, find a job and a permanent place to live.
He has problems, but makes no effort to solve them. Thanks.
I don’t know if he’d even tell me if he was using. I know he smoked pot for a long time. I don’t know if he used other drugs. I know he’s drinking. When I found him he was a little drunk. He smelled so bad, I don’t know if he smelled of booze. Offered to get him a haircut, but he turned me down. Probably hasn’t had one in at least a year. Wouldn’t eat in our dining room. Ate in our kitchen, fast, then out of the house to sit on the back stairs to smoke a cigarette. Can’t even be in the same room with my wife. I have no idea how to help him. None of my relatives do. We speak of him at every family get together. He "visits" about half of us regularly. People like me he avoids.
I think what you did is just right. No one can do anything for him. He has to do himself. I’m a recovering alcoholic and drug addict and nobody could say or do anything to make me stop. I had to want it.
My husband has a good paying job now for the past 2 years. Although he took a large pay cut due to getting fired from previous job. He was addicted to vicodin. He has switched to Canada’s pain medicine with codiene. He is an alcoholic but we don’t keep liquor at home. He works late shifts -drinks elsewhere – and comes home at midnight. He is functioning and still a great dad to our 14 year old son. We also have older children at home going to college. My problem with him besides his addictions, once in a while he does get into the money and takes large sums. Although this has not been happening as frequently – it still does. He is never abusive or angry at home. Are there other people out there in this type of relationship. I don’t want my son growing up without house, yard, or broken family. Life at home is stable & he is real active with our son and daughter. the husband & wife relationship is friendly but nothing more than that. I just put up with him at least for now. I am sure I would lose the house and be in worse debt if I got divorced.
it is not about me-I guess that is why I have stayed in this relationship. it is more about keeping the most stable environment for the kids. It is not about being well off-we don’t have a savings at all & don’t go on vacations. I just think after all this time-4 more years is not that long. I was just wondering if there were others in this type of relationship.
yes someone did ask me why I stay in this kind of relationship. And he has been in rehab twice. Sometimes I get frustrated and just need to email and go to Yahoo Answers – like tonight.
I have been fortunate that my hubby is relatively problem free.
But he knows I don’t (and won’t) put up with certain things: infidelity, substance abuse, gambling addiction, physical or emotional abuse.
My husband and I were married for 5 years- he joined a week after we got married. After his 1st deployment he came home an alcoholic and got physically and verbally aggressive while drunk. I stuck by him because I wanted to support him through whatever he was going through, but he cheated on me and things got rough. He refused marriage counseling and I just did what I could to keep it together. Almost a year ago he returned from a 2nd deployment and things have been much worse. He’s still drinking (now drinking and driving) and the abuse has gotten worse and no longer requires alcohol. About 4 weeks ago he moved out and is living with a friend (and his new girlfriend). He stopped his pay to my account and as an E-5 only has to give me $250 per check/$500 a month! I had to call IG to help me get a protective order because of his violent history and they are now investigating him for adultery (he admitted to cheating now and back then). I have since been looking for a job,
but my car was being repaired for several weeks and I’m just now able to follow through with interviews. In the mean time $500 isn’t going to pay our $1200 mortgage or $650 in car payments/insurance. I don’t care if the credit cards and student loans get paid, I can recover from that, but I’m left in this house and feel like he just pulled the rug out from under me. I still think this is Post traumatic stress disorder, but I can’t let him destroy my life because of it. Texas and the Army have weird laws that don’t seem to help me much and I NEED all the help I can get. If I get a job and can pay the bills will I still have to sell this house? How does a judge decide who gets what?
I had foster children before, that WAS my job, but obviously this wasn’t a good environment for them so I’m now looking for a job. I was also a substitute teacher and summertime is here… I’m not sitting in self pity, I just don’t want to loose my life. I can’t leave here until I find homes for my animals- the house I’m talking about is a small farm so the horses, and other animals deserve to have good homes, but he says if I sell them he’ll sue me for half of anything I sell!
Ok, this is getting longer and longer, thank you all for reading and answering. JAG won’t help me because we own property I have to get a civilian lawyer, but with no money can’t pay a retainer. I’m not being a helpless victim, I’m just not sure what to do…
Well Texas is a community property state so he is legally responsible for half the debt and half the assets of the marriage. If you are near a military base, go seek legal help from JAG or hire a regular lawyer.
But you need to get a lawyer to protect yourself and force him to pay for his half of the debts. And settle the property issues.