If you have questions about responsible drinking in your family or concerned about excessive use of alcohol, please visit the following website: http://www.habitdoc.com/.
Only one person in the world that’s going to make you happy and be sure your satisfied with your life and that’s YOURSELF! you need to care about yourself more then he does.
Are there any other reasons why someone would choose a lifestyle which is so restrictive and boring?
most converts to islam are western women. 1/3 of these is married to an immigrant and 2/3 choose islam because of its superior social system as well lack of theological complications vis-a-vis christianity.
islam offers a woman the possibility of a faithful husband who brings home the dough and helps raise healthy moral children. what most people do not realize is that for many women, this is a dream come true.
better to serve a faithful morally upright husband than to serve yourself while getting jacked back and forth by a assembly line of local selfish men.
I was married for 13 yrs the first time have 4 children by him. I took a beaten at least once or twice a week after almost killing me I got away. Married a second man that really wasn’t any better. Divorced him after 10 yrs.After seeing husband 1 after all those yrs he looked so bad like he was an old man in his seventies.Which was from drugs and alcohol. I have such a good heart and felt like I was the only person that could help him get healthy again and bring our love back to a good thing. It started out good until the drinking got bad again and he beat me real bad again. But I thought if I marry him again he will learn to trust me. No, it still got worse after that he always throws up my ex and tells me I am a slut, whore, pig, and whatever else he can think of he also has multiple personallities that hate me with a passion. I care about him because he is the father of my kids but I can’t take the abuse anymore.He is a sick man with hep c, scorosis of the liver, had a heartattack
The cycle of abuse and the choice of being with the abusers needs to be broken. You will never be able to change another person by any means. No amount of love or ultimatums will do it. Since he is sick in several different ways, it comes down to him needing some serious intervention so that he can get the mental and physical help he needs. It seems like you stay because one day you are truly hoping that he will change because he loves you enough, but he won’t. if you really love him and don’t want him out of your life completely because of the kids, then just be his friend and be there for him if he can accept those terms.
He says he knows he has a problem. The next day (after the cravings are getting to him) he decides he does not have a problem, and wants to drink in moderation. He says he’s miserable without alcohol.
I tell him that just one drink a month, and those cravings that are so unpleseant will never go away.
I was willing to stand it up to a point but now he lies and says he’ll work with me and hours later he is completely working against me. I don’t knwo what to do anymore.
I flipped out and yelled at him tonight. I regret the yelling, but nothing else has worked, and it has only been four days. We’ve fought (and discussed) every day why he can’t have just one drink, and agrees with me at the end of every talk. The next day he decided he’s not an alcoholic, or it’s ok to drink in moderation, or he doesnn’t have a problem.
He won’t stop till he’s ready,when he hits his bottom which is different for everyone.Only talk to him while he’s sober,if you try to talk to him after he’s been drinking your going to hear only alcohol talk.Ask him if he will go to rehab.or just get dried out and go to some AA meetings.Your best bet would be to go to ,meetings for loved ones who are alcoholics.Get someone who doesn’t drink to help you.He can help himself if he is willing to admit and accept he has a drinking problem.There’s a lot of help out there just try to get you both help.Living with the alcoholic makes you sick also.I’ll pray for both of you.I’m in recovery myself.
Since I last posted, things have gotten worse! I didn’t think it was possible! He went out to drink and was robbed by two guys. They stole his keys and cell phone and our car! He was hospitalized overnight and woke up still intoxicated in the hospital. I was there and he was yelling and cursing at me in front of the hospital staff! After he was released from the hospital, he went into a convenient store and downed a beer, I could not believe it! Than he was yelling at me on the street and in the cab to give him money to go buy a six pack of beer because he had a stressful night as a result of the robbery, etc. His Mom met me downstairs to help me as he was causing a huge scene. On the way into our building, he punched a metal door with his fist. After all this, he is still denying that he has a problem and is once again blaming his drinking on "stress." To me this sounds like another excuse! I am so angry at him and don’t know what to do. This was the final straw, yet he is once again trying to convince me that he will never do it again. Is there any hope or am I just fooling myself here?
Quit enabling him. He needs to detox and get A/A. You need to get involved with Alanon a support group for family members of alcoholics so that you can stop being part of the cycle. Pour out any alcohol that comes into the home until you either move out or kick him out. You can’t just make idle threats and ultimatums. You have to back it up with actions.
We have been separated for 2 years (this time). He does not drink that much anymore, but he is not in good health. He is only 41. I keep letting him come back, but he is a liar about all things. Sometimes its the things that he does not say and then other times its what he says. I have been to counseling and it just does not seem to work. Sometimes i feel Strong and then other moments I feel weak around him. How has anyone else out there dealt with this same situation. He has dabbled in drugs as well. I just don’t want my kids or myself around this anymore. He says that he doesn’t do it, but he has NO EMOTIONS about ANYTHING!! Please help!!!
You are making excuses for him – "he does not drink that much anymore". If he is an alcoholic, he needs to not drink at all anymore. You said that you tried counseling and "it doesn’t work". You are wrong. Counseling can and will work if you find the right counselor. It’s like dating. You don’t usually get it right the first time and need to continue looking until you find the right person who really gets you and knows how to help. Please go back into counseling. Look for someone warm and compassionate that isn’t afraid to get tough sometimes and will not hesitate to call you on it when you are bamboozling them (and yourself). You need to get away from your husband (permanently) and get your children away from him until he cleans up his act. By getting weak around him, you are are actually making things worse for him by sending the message that he has been a bad boy, but you will be there and accept whatever he dishes out no matter what. If you keep taking him back, you are condoning and allowing this behavior to continue. This is bad for your children and you need to put them first above him or this will ruin their lives.
drink more? Also is it true that if your father is an alcoholic, you will either marry one or become one yourself? I dont really drink myself but every once in awhile, but I get scared that I may end up like my dad- am I more likely to become one? If so, Why? How can I prevent this and just be able to have an occasional social drink without worrying? Thanks
Alcohol is addictive and if you use it daily your body requires it. An occasional social drink doesn’t cause addiction as long as it doesn’t become a daily habit. You know the affects of alcohol addiction from personal experience and know what to look for in the guys you date. Use your knowledge of alcoholism to avoid getting involved with heavy drinkers and limit your own as you do now. You could check out al anon to get info on avoiding addiction and how to spot addictive behavior patterns in others.
we live in separate houses but still see each other, except when he binges, its been 2 & a half years he is not abusive just complains about everything, gets depressed and cries. I am so tired of living like this. aa helped for a while. he keeps the same friends who are alcoholics.
My mother was a alcoholic and know matter what you do or say,they have to want the help.you have to make your own choices about this because you have to live with the choice you make
They have been married for 10 yrs. and he has had several relapes. He is also my boss, the other day he had a relapse and he called me to come get him from this house that he was staying at, drinking he wanted me to come get him and take him to his car, so I went. When I got there he wasn’t ready to go any where. He wanted me to stay and drink with me, he tried to kiss me I wouldn’t let him I covered my face I kept telling him much my sister loved him he said he has had a thing for me for a long time and he asked if I would stay and sleep under the covers with him for an hour I told him NO, That I had to go. I can’t tell my sister It’ll hurt her so bad cause she loves him so much and he keeps doing this to her last time he took off to Las Vages for 2 weeks and spent 15k in the period!!! What do I do he’s stopped hitting on me I told him that I love my sister and would never do anything to hurt her, But I feel like I have betrayed her for not telling her what happene what do I do?
The best thing you can do is tell your sister. She has a right to know, and he won’t be able to get out of this rut on his own.