how do i handle the anger and fustration that comes with living with a lieing, alcoholic husband?
living with an alcoholic husband July 2nd, 2009
Its not easy but your not alone he needs help as well as you have you triwd Al ANON ? it can help it did me he needs help also if he dosnt it will probable break you apart i hope all ends well GOD bless
July 2nd, 2009 at 10:57 am
You dont, leave him if you dont still love him, get him to detox and counselling if you do still love him and want to be with him!!!
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July 2nd, 2009 at 11:38 am
Leave him even if you think you can’t.
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July 2nd, 2009 at 12:14 pm
take him to Alcoholics Anonymous… counseling… try to help him to overcome his problem… if he doesn’t want to change divorce him…
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July 2nd, 2009 at 12:43 pm
trust me get rid of him ..for the sake of your sanity
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July 2nd, 2009 at 12:53 pm
well,in my opinion you should leave him because you will not get any benefits from him or you can sit down and have a serious talk with him.
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July 2nd, 2009 at 1:36 pm
YOu just walk away, and you don’t need to handle it anymore.
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July 2nd, 2009 at 1:56 pm
You don’t. Don’t fall into the ’stupid girl syndrome’ and believe that you can change him. You never will. Change has to come from him…at his own freewill. Talk to him about how you feel though, and offer support if he seeks out help in AA or a rehab. If he’s content where he is, then what else can you do? Either accept life with him as he is or don’t.
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July 2nd, 2009 at 2:02 pm
Slip a few zanax in his beer
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July 2nd, 2009 at 2:22 pm
Its not easy but your not alone he needs help as well as you have you triwd Al ANON ? it can help it did me he needs help also if he dosnt it will probable break you apart i hope all ends well GOD bless
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July 2nd, 2009 at 3:09 pm
divorce
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July 2nd, 2009 at 3:16 pm
Go to counseling for yourself.It will help you understand and give you ways of coping with an alcoholic. You can’t help an alcoholic if he doesn’t want help. If he is willing to go with you, great. They will give you resources that he needs to overcome his addiction and help your marriage if you are willing to work on it. If not and you are done with the marriage, leave. You have to take care of yourself first. If you don’t your no good for anybody else.
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July 2nd, 2009 at 3:24 pm
This is the time you need to pray. Get closer to God and ask God to help you in this situation. Contack a prayer group or your local church or pastor and ask for prayer support. Be sure if you love him and pray for him God will change him and you as well. Take care and cast all your burdens on Him and he will sustain you. For he is close to the broken hearted and will hear their cry. Only if you turn to him and seek His face.
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July 2nd, 2009 at 4:11 pm
u should be honest with yourself, is he willing to change? did he try and failed? if he’s not willing to change, if he didn’t ask for help u can’t help him
be as patient as u can.that would be the only thing u can do for him. as for u, GO OUT FOR A WHILE WHEN HE IS HOME. JOIN CLASSES FOR SOMETHING U LIKE DOING. i don’t know if u can try and video him and show him how he looks like, only if ur sure he won’t hurt u if u do that.
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July 2nd, 2009 at 4:59 pm
OK I read all your questions, and they all have to do with this alcoholic husband of yours. If you don’t have kids, then it is your perogative to stay with him and put up with him,and seeing that you know he’s an alcoholic,and that you have chosen to be in his life,you’re gonna have to just learn to deal with him.Either that or leave, it’s that simple.Keep the home, kick him out or send him to rehab, whatever you want to do.Just remember that it is your decision that only affects you. Don’t go cheating (again) and just putting up with him though.
If you have kids. Then it is your responsibility to get out of the relationship. Do you want your child or children to see that the relationship you have is the "normal" type of relationship? That it’s ok for dad to drink and mom to screw around? Children live by example and we grow up to mimic our parents relationships, whether we like it or not. My dad was a big time cheat, and drug addict, and I through most of my young adult life, went for the bad boy types, always bad relationships. Because to me it was no big deal. Until I learned that I was going for the men who treated me like my dad treated my mom and realized it wasn’t "normal", I was never happy. Now I am going on 10 years happily married and 12 together with a great guy who is a great example of how a husband should treat a wife.
In short, if you don’t have kids, do what you want, if you do have kids, break the cycle.
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July 2nd, 2009 at 5:28 pm
Anger and frustration will at least soften if you tell him and find a way to talk about it, to make him listen.Try to explain what is hurting you avoiding an accusing or insulting (voice, words) way of doing that. About the alcohol problem–the first step is making him see that he has a problem (so he could get professional), that drinking like this is not normal, focusing on that he feels and looks (works) bad after drinking and so on.Go out to the movie theater, bowling, ice skating centers or a Latino dances course together or with friends instead of staying at home in the evening.Go on short vacations. Make him feel that he is loved (everybody needs that). But, dear don’t forget that whatever happens you deserve to be happy, and the key to that is not in someone else, but in you.
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July 2nd, 2009 at 6:04 pm
You need to lay it on the line and just tell him that he’s going to lose you if he doesn’t stop the booze. If you have and he doesn’t make progress in helping himself, or doesn’t even try, then you need to go. Maybe during a separation he’ll wake up, maybe not, but if it’s bad enough for you, then you need to take care of yourself.
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July 2nd, 2009 at 6:54 pm
It’s his problem not yours. You will never be able to change him, only he can do that. The question is are you going to keep putting up with it or do something about it for your own peace of mind?
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July 2nd, 2009 at 7:28 pm
Seek counseling, and if he is not willing to change or compromise than take him for all he has got!
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July 2nd, 2009 at 7:48 pm
I had to ask myself that same question about 5 years ago. I came very close to leaving, but realized I did really love him & that alcoholism is a disease…I had vowed to love him in sickness & health. I talked to my mother-in-law who is a recovered alcoholic herself, and she encouraged me to go to an AL ANON meeting, she even went with me. They helped me to realize that I wasn’t alone, and to learn how to best handle some situations. I, being a Christian, also prayed about the situation. He finally realized he had a problem & started going to AA meetings. He has been sober now for nearly 4 years & things are great. I would strongly suggest finding someone who has been in the situation you are in & talking to them. If you don’t have anyone you can trust, try AL ANON, it can’t hurt.
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July 2nd, 2009 at 7:58 pm
The best advice I can give is to get your things inorder, save money in a separate account, and honestly meditate on what you want. If someone does something to you once, it is their fault. If they do the same thing to you a second time, then it is you fault. Don’t be a victim. It is a thankless job.
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