alcoholics..?
spouses of alcoholics June 29th, 2009has anyone ever had an alcoholic family member or spouse,,if so what did you do or how did you deal..?
My father was an alcoholic for most of his life. And some say that "once an alcoholic always an alcoholic". It caused tremendous hardships on our family. AA and Alonon, have always exsisted I guess but he would never commit to any type of program.
While some may say that alcoholism is a FAMILY disease and you should try to stand by them. Well if they are attempting some type of program then you should help them in their recovery.
You cant make someone stop drinking, it has to be a personal decision. And that is the bad news here. Something has to happen in order for an alcoholic to want treament. Rather it's a personal awakening or a rude awakening……
My Mother got enough of the fighting and abuse and locked the doors one day while my dad was away. She threw all his clothes in the front yard. When he got home he sat in the front yard and blew his car horn for hours. Mom finally went to the door and told him that he was never coming home again as a drunkard. That if he persisted to blow the horn she would call the police.
She didn't have to call the police.
He came home 2 weeks latter, he never drank again for the next 20 years. My Dad was 59 when he stopped drinking without intervention from a program. That is maybe difficult for some to do. But apparently it can be done. But most will probally need a program. It was not done by faith or relegion, neither of my parents were relegious. But for those that are of some faith God can help.
Dad remanined sober for the rest of his life…….age 79.
June 29th, 2009 at 9:39 am
huh?
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June 29th, 2009 at 10:27 am
My father was a raging alcoholic. He was very violent. I just tried to ignore it and when needed, defended myself and my mom.
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June 29th, 2009 at 11:11 am
12 steps aa
group session, psychologist
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June 29th, 2009 at 11:38 am
My Dad is an alcoholic…..in recovery….it helps to go to things like alanon meeting and things of that nature….depending on the type of alcoholic (violent…depressed etc) there are many different ways of dealing….you can remove yourself or try to help them it important the alcoholic know and understand they have a disease and try to get help….they wont quit unless THEY want too….remember that,…i gave my father an ultimatum quit drinking or you will never see your grandson…it worked he, is now in recovery….that made him want to do it.
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June 29th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
You need to set boundaries for yourself so they don't take you down with them. Do an intervention.
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June 29th, 2009 at 12:47 pm
I have a cousin whose boyfriend is an alcoholic. No matter what she does she cannot find a way to help him. He always hid alcohol in the bushes. He put a hole in the wall and hid his drinks in there. I would say that person needs to be put in rehab if it's that bad.
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June 29th, 2009 at 1:09 pm
It is a really scary thing to go through life being quiet about other people's problems.
I'm not sure how old you are, so I'll give you this information.
go to the first link if you are a teenager. It is a support group for people in your position. The meetings are helpful and you are not alone.
The second link is a support group (run by Al-Anon) which helps those who have been affected by someone they know's drinking.
good luck.
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http://www.al-anon.org/alateen.html
http://al-anon.org/
June 29th, 2009 at 1:39 pm
my brother was pretty bad off for a while. He is better now because he had to grow up and get a job to support himself. There wasn't much I could do except to be there for him. alcoholism is a disease, and hard on everyone. The only thing I could do was offer him a ride and made sure he knew I would be there for him at the drop of a hat in case he needed me to drive him home… cuz the only thing worse than a alcoholic family member is a dead one or one that has killed someone on the road… You have to pray about it, and keep your faith… but most importantly be there for whoever it is… It is extremely hard to watch someone you love do that to themselves, but they will realize oneday!! God bless you and stay strong!!!
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June 29th, 2009 at 2:04 pm
yes my father was an alcoholic. my mother divorced him when i was like 15-16. he always embarrassed me and my sisters and brother. he chase my boyfriend with a knife he try to kick and punch me in my stomach when i was pregnant. he stared talking bad to me that i just could take it anymore and just started telling him exactly what i tough of him and felt for all those years he got mad and punch me in the neck. next thing i know my brother in law is going at it with him and he was sent to jail. i cant stand drunks i hate them so much. i dont care if you were the president or a very old old person rich or poor if u r a drunk dont talk to me. cause i have no feelings for drunks what so ever
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June 29th, 2009 at 2:53 pm
My dad is a recovering alocoholic. To deal with it, I drank. Vicious cycle huh? I was much worse as a teen, but I just gave it up so I can try and have a child with my husband.
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June 29th, 2009 at 3:00 pm
dont argue when drunk. their drinking doesent have anything to do w/ you .the same way they cant walk a mile and you lose 10 pounds
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live d it wbs
June 29th, 2009 at 3:33 pm
Alcohol was apart of my whole life growing up, Extended family Aunts, Uncles, Parents, Step-parents, some worst then others. It made a lasting impression on me, to the point where I don't drink in my home very very rarely do I ever drink last time was at a company Christmas party last year.
I haven't been to a bar in over 3 years.
My husband comes from the same background so we agree on this. Our kids never seen either of us drunk.
There really wasn't anything I could do, to stop any of the drinking, it was to wide spread. The only thing I really could do was to make sure my kids don't have to live the way I had to.
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June 29th, 2009 at 4:02 pm
My father was an alcoholic for most of his life. And some say that "once an alcoholic always an alcoholic". It caused tremendous hardships on our family. AA and Alonon, have always exsisted I guess but he would never commit to any type of program.
While some may say that alcoholism is a FAMILY disease and you should try to stand by them. Well if they are attempting some type of program then you should help them in their recovery.
You cant make someone stop drinking, it has to be a personal decision. And that is the bad news here. Something has to happen in order for an alcoholic to want treament. Rather it's a personal awakening or a rude awakening……
My Mother got enough of the fighting and abuse and locked the doors one day while my dad was away. She threw all his clothes in the front yard. When he got home he sat in the front yard and blew his car horn for hours. Mom finally went to the door and told him that he was never coming home again as a drunkard. That if he persisted to blow the horn she would call the police.
She didn't have to call the police.
He came home 2 weeks latter, he never drank again for the next 20 years. My Dad was 59 when he stopped drinking without intervention from a program. That is maybe difficult for some to do. But apparently it can be done. But most will probally need a program. It was not done by faith or relegion, neither of my parents were relegious. But for those that are of some faith God can help.
Dad remanined sober for the rest of his life…….age 79.
References :
June 29th, 2009 at 4:47 pm
My dad is an acholholic. I realy can't do anything tho im just 13 so i just let him drink and get out of his way when he is drunk. But if i were u i would talk to that person and let them know that you are having problems with him/her drinking. That might help that person understand beter what you are going through and maby could reduce there achohol consumpsion, or stop it all togther.
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I did this with my grandfather. He has been achohol free for 4 months.